I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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