weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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