why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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