the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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