Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
