needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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