come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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