what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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