Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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