nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
