lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
