Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
