from now on my penis is your penis
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
