Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
