She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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