she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
as a side note pls kill me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
