I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
