Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
