As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
