Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
whose parrot is this?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
