she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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