I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
