just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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