I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
