Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize