I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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