Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
