i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
this hospital has no fireball
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
