Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
