Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Damn victory sex feels great
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
