Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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