he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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