I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's never too late to be topless.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
