Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize