worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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