we have officially lost it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Terrible idea I love it
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
