i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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