That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize