my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
