ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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