I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
