You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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