She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
