Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
