i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
