I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My feet surprised me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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