he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
