I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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