There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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