it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
