HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
