SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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