What a fucking waste of an outfit
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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