I will die if light touches me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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