you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
try to milk me bitch
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize