we're blogging at a bar
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
