I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
