Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
