Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I fill condoms, not promises.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
