Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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