Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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