But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
