i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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