It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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