dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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