I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
