Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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