she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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