Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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