I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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