i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
