he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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