its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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