I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
