I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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