wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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