smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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