In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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